jennamajig

Title: Doesn’t Compute
Author: jennamajig
Email: jennamajig@yahoo.com
Category: Stargate: Atlantis, missing scene
Warnings: Slash, McKay/Zelenka, established relationship
Spoilers: The Seige part I, slight mentions of Before I Sleep and The Seige part II.
Rating: PG-13 (or T)
Summary: He didn’t do endearing sentiment. Scene filler/missing scene for The Seige I.
Website: http://jennamajig.tripod.com/stories.htm

A/N: Written for Zelenka ficathon and finished just under wire. Written for frostfire_17, who requested McKay, Rodney and Radek finishing each other's sentences, no death, UST, or sad ending.

I tried really hard about the no sad ending, but since this is a Seige I scene filler/missing scene fic, some sadness kinda crept in, along with angst. But I still tried to keep it somewhat light, so I hope you like. Also, since you didn't say whether you wanted slash or gen, this is slash, but slashlite, really.

Disclaimer: I don't own Stargate: Atlantis or anything associated with. I'm simply borrowing, but I promise to return all in one piece. Eventually.

Some dialogue is taken directly from The Seige, Part I. It is not mine, it belongs to the writers, and is in italics.




Doesn't Compute
By Jennamajig


He didn't do endearing sentiment. For him, it was an expression that did not compute in the calculator in his brain. It only brought up a long string of numbers that meant nothing and did nothing and therefore, were useless. He didn't have time to cloud his mind with such nonsense. Not when the Wraith were almost at their front door and all.

He could pretend to try another time, another place. When he got a moment to transform his ego into something akin to caring. As close as his calculator could compute, that is.

"Okay, I think I can handle this alone, Radek. Isn't there something *better* you could be doing?"

He couldn't do sweet, right now. He didn't need his boyfriend (he silently shuddered at the word, it still sounded awkward and incomplete, but frankly he had yet to come up with a better description of their relationship and that irked him) fussing around him, settling cables that had already been settled.

"I think I should go," Radek told him.

Thank God. He didn't need sentimentally to cloud his judgment or remind him yet again about the danger he was putting himself in for the sake of the universe at large. Because, really, he was scared shitless and preferred to ignore that feeling as long as he could, even if meant being snippy to the man who'd managed to find him a shot of decent alcohol last night when he'd thought his head would explode. Of course, it still did, but of course, head also had a completely different meaning.

"Yes, I agree - go."

"I *mean* on the mission."

No! his mind screamed as soon as he heard the words. But his mouth said, "Why?"

"Sure, you probably know a *little* bit more about the satellite than I do..."

He snorted. "Generous of you!" He did respect Radek's intellect, really, but he wasn't about to admit that.

"...but you know a *lot* more about the city than I do.

Don't sell yourself short, the voice in his head said, but again his mouth, in true McKay fashion took the easier route and avoided emotion. "Okay, I think I see where this is going now."

"*If*, for whatever reason, there is a problem there, it should be me, not you."

"There's not going to be a problem." It was an automatic response. He did not do failure. Ever since Old Elizabeth's tale of his demise the first time around, he was determined to fix it. To fix everything.

Which meant leaving Zelenka in charge in the city. Where, at least at this very moment, it was safer than a satellite in the middle of the galaxy that would soon end up in a million pieces, hopefully none of them human.

"Rodney, you don't know that."

Of course he didn't, but who did? He preferred the scenario where the Wraith ship went bye-bye and he returned to Atlantis a hero. They'd be a party and he'd finally be able to sleep.

Radek would, too. And if it so happened that they decided it needed to be together, like they had previously decided in the few moments either of them managed a second of peace in the last two weeks, then well, who was he to deny it?

He was not sentimental. No way.

Radek was looking at him, unspoken worry in his eyes. Rodney blinked.

"If it seems like we can't fix it, we'll just turn around and come back." Great. He felt the tiniest piece of emotion slip in as he spoke. He needed to fix that. "Now I realize I am invaluable everywhere..."

"You know what? Forget about it. I take it back."

Emotion was temporarily forgotten and if he closed his eyes, he and Radek were just back in the lab in the early days of Atlantis where Rodney took weeks to get his name right and when he finally did, continued to do it just to get a rise from Czech. What could he say - he found it sexy. He'd found intelligence was a major turn-on for him, thus explaining his fascination with Colonel Carter, but combined with a touch of sarcasm and well, he wasn't about to back down.

"Sorry..."

"No!"

"...you can't take it back because you've just admitted that am *smarter* than you are!"

Radek gave him a look, one Rodney knew he reserved for times such as this, when many would think the engineer was fed up with him, when Rodney knew it was really quite the opposite.

"I admitted no such thing." There was an indignant tone to his voice.

"It was hard for you to say but the truth shone through and you were compelled to speak!"

"You are a miserable little man!"

No, he wasn't. Okay, maybe a little. Of course, he couldn't be all that bad since Radek wasn't leaving. The case lay open before him and he knew that this wasn't another normal day in the lab, testing out Ancient equipment. It was an approaching war.

"Hey-hey-hey, let's not ruin the moment here, huh?" He closed the case and turned to Zelenka. Like or not, sentiment, emotion, whatever he wished to call it, came back in and for a brief moment he contemplated hitting the clear button on his brain's calculator and starting over. A clean state, a new try.

Give this whole caring thing a shot after all.

He paused awkwardly and thought carefully about his next words.

"Now," he took Zelenka's hand and shook it, "keep an eye on my city for me while I'm gone, huh?" He ached to do more, but there was no right time, no right place. No room for endearing sentiment. This was as close as he got. As close as he could offer.

He knew Radek understood.

"Good luck," Radek told him.

"Right. Right," he repeated. He needed all the luck in the word. They all did, really. Tomorrow could be a completely different day.

Tomorrow could not exist.

He wheeled the trolley out of the room, but stopped a moment in the hallway. There was so much more to say, really.

He couldn't do it.

He shifted his hands back to the task at hand.

He wasn't surprised to hear footsteps behind him.

"Rodney..."

He stopped, but refused to look back. "I can't..." He trailed off.

A hand placed itself on his shoulder. "I know."

He sighed. "Do you? Do you really?"

"Doesn't compute," was the reply. "You're not the only one with a mental calculator."

"Of course."

"Of course," Radek repeated. Silence, then a quiet, "I really do think you should stay."

He let out a small laugh. "And you really think I'll listen?"

"No. You never do. Never stopped anyone from trying."

Another sigh. "I'm..."

"Sorry? I do not think so. You never are."

"Right." He gripped the trolley tighter and watched his knuckles turn white from the effort. Radek dropped his hand and Rodney heard him walk to the other end of the trolley.

"Rodney."

He looked up.

"Want coffee when you get back?"

He gave another short laugh. "Yeah. That would be nice."

Radek moved aside. "It will be waiting, then."

I'll be waiting was unspoken, but Rodney heard it, grasped at it.

"Good," he said and he pushed, down the hallway, leaving the lab and Zelenka behind. Off to save the world. Again.

Hours and hours later, in the mist of the battle, of the loss, of the bomb building and stimulant driven awareness, Rodney found the coffee pot in his lab on, his mug and a stray calculator next to it.

And he managed to smile.